Diamonds are a Clown's best friend
by shigo
Summary: I am not so great with summary's but I well being leaving how this story ends to you the fans. Please R&R
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer I do not own right's to these characters but in my stories they are my play things

Chapter One

At one of many hideouts that The Joker and Harley Quinn have in Gotham City, they are having a nice relaxing evening of playtime. This takes place right after torturing a security guard from one of the many businesses of Wayne Enterprises. In the bedchamber of Harley Quinn…

Harley: Puddin' are you sure you want to play before I wash the guards blood off…(Joker kisses Her deeply).

Joker stops for a second to say yes.

Joker: Yes I want you now Harls. (Unzipping her outfit)

Harley: Oh Mr. J(she moans)

Joker: You know excited I get during the torture process of planning a caper. (Grabbing her right boob)

Harley: Ohhh Mister J (Reaching up to start taking off Joker's suit jacket)

After a few more minutes of taking each other's clothes off, Joker and Harley get in the thick of it of playing their game of fuck the brains out of Harley. With security guard tied up watching the fun. After that they both proceed to take a very hot bath to wash the day of fun away.

…

The next morning, as the 'hired' master chief cooked their breakfast. The Joker assigned the henchmen their tasks for the day. Harley Quinn was also giving her personal henchmen a long list of things that needed to be done to the security guard.

Harley: Oh Puddin' what did you need to me to do today?

Joker: Well Harley my sweet you can stay close to me while we go see Mr. Bruce Wayne about the diamond supply that he seems to be hiding from us.

Harley: Mr. J why do you want the diamonds he has when we can just get them at a Jewelry store?

Joker: Well I want only the best selection to choose from and the rest is a surprise.

Harley: Alright Puddin', anything you say.

Chief: Your breakfast Joker and Ms. Quinn. (Setting their breakfast down on to the table)

Joker: You may go and it's Clowned Prince of crime thank you! (Throws a knife at him)

Harley: So Puddin' when do we meet with Mr. Wayne today?

Joker: I was thinking for early dinner my sweet.

Harley: Oh Mr. J that sounds wonderful!

Joker: I knew you would like it! (Finishing his meal)

Harley: Then what will we do until then Puddin'? (Also done eating)

Joker: Well I thought we could play a game of chase the Chief around the house with knives for bit? (Giving the chief 2 minute head start)

Harley: Oh Mr. J, just knives? (Pulling out her oversized mallet)

And with that the game began with a full 20 minutes of play time. Which left the chief terrified for his life but he'd never messed up on how to address the Joker again. Joker then picked up Harley and carried her into his office and locked the door behind them. Kissing her he knocked the various papers and plans off his desk. Laying Harley on to the desk then he unzipped his pants. Harley who was still in a silk rope and nothing else opened her legs let him glade in hard. She moans loudly moving her hips with his. The more Harley moaned the harder and faster Joker went inside her. They were at it like for almost hour when somebody so rudely knocked on the door.

Joker: What I am in the middle of playing with my Harley Quinn!

Henchman: Um Joker the security guard somehow got untied and then escaped.

Harley: WHAT!

Joker: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU LET MY HARLEY'S NEW TOY RUN AWAY!

With that Harley had her rope tied back into place with mallet in hand. Opened the door and hit the henchman in the head. Joker zipping up his pants fallows her; he then calls all the henchmen into the boardroom to get to the bottom of this.

…

After, Harley had changed into her normal outfit of a skin tight jester suit of red and black with little hints of white. She was in the boardroom with her "babies" in tow. Her babies really being two hyenas: that the Joker got her several years ago.

Joker: Now how the hell did he get untied in the first place?

Henchman 1: Um well he was complaining that he was in pain, so I thought I should untie him to see if he was ok.

Harley: Where on the list of things you could do to him did _I say untie him! I never wrote that on the list. (She hit him with the mullet)_

_Joker: Now I want all of you to get out there and start looking for him NOW!_

With that all the henchmen were searching the grounds for 20 minutes until they found the guard. They brought him to Joker and Harley Quinn as they were told. Harley then put her toy in a cage so he couldn't get away again. And with that it was launch time for Joker and Harley.

…

As Harley was dressing in her evening wear for dinner with Mr. J and Mr. Wayne. Joker came into her room to her with a very sparkly necklace for her to wear. After he put necklace on her he kissed her neck. Harley turned towards him and kissed him hard. Then after having a quickie she finished getting ready. They left for Bruce Wayne's office at 7:17 pm. They got to the office's Wayne Enterprises around 7:45 pm.


	2. Date Night

Chapter Two

When the building of Wayne Enterprise's was clear by Joker's team, He and Harley walked right in to the building went to the elevator to see Bruce Wayne. When they got there the henchmen were already setting Mr. Wayne into a chair for them to eat dinner. Joker sat down as Harley got to work opening a bottle of wine. Then looked right at Bruce asked if he could please tell him where the diamonds were so he could pick some out for himself.

Joker: So if you be so helpful as to tell me where your diamond supply is so can get some lovely for my Harley and me.

Bruce: mmmmm (he was still gagged)

Harley: Mister J asked you a question! (ungagging him)

Bruce: Why would I do that for you?

Joker: Well if most know I wanted to get something for my sweet Harls for our anniversary this year.

Harley: Oh Puddin' your so sweet.

Joker: And I can't revel anymore it would ruin the surprise for Harley, but for now we eat dinner. (Chief brings in their meal)

And with that one of the henchmen help Bruce with his dinner until he has eaten every last bite. His dinner had truth serum so he could tell them where the diamonds were. Which were in the safe in his office. That is where Joker picked out a nice watch for himself and a good sized diamond for Harley. Then after the meal was done they left Bruce still tied to his chair.

…

Later that night while Harley was asleep in her bed, Joker was up fitting Harley's diamond to a 20k gold band. Only the best for his Queen he thought to himself as he put it in a red and black box. Then he put it in his packet and went to his room to go to bed for the night.

…

In the early morning hours Harley came to his bed to play early morning games. She woke him with her mouth on his great sized morning wood. To which he loved because he got bigger as she sucked on his cock. Then she kissed him all the way up to his lips. Joker kissed her hungrily biting her lip for blood. He then got her to lay back on the bed where they had amazing rough passionate sex until mid-morning.

…

While they eat their late breakfast they watched the news of last night's caper. Bruce as expected couldn't remember exactly what had occurred the night before, for they had given him a pill to erase his memory of the whole night.

Harley: Puddin' when do I get my surprise?

Joker: Tomorrow night during our anniversary party.

Harley: Oh Puddin' when can I give you your present?

Joker: Harley you know you don't have to give me anything my sweet because you are mine.

Harley: But I already got you something. (Crawling across the table)

Joker: Well I wonder what it could possibly be then. (Letting Harley on to his lap)

Harley: I'll give you little taste of what is to be expected. (Unzipping his pants)

Joker: Oh right let see what we got here. (Opening up Harley's rope)

Harley: Do you like what you see Mister J? (Showing him what she was wearing underneath her rope)

Joker: Oh yes I like it a lot. (Kissing her hand)

Harley: Oh I was got another set in Purple and Green. (Rubbing his cock)

Joker: Harley you're my naughty little minx. (Fingering her pussy)

Harley: Oh Mister J yeesss. (Enjoying it)

Joker: Oh Harls you're getting wet. (Putting his cock in Hard)

Harley: Only for yoouu Puddin' OOOO. (Rocking her hips)

With that they ended up going into Harley room for about three hours of uninterrupted playtime. They didn't out of there until needed to eat dinner. And the girls come over for a girl's night in of pampering themselves for the party tomorrow night. So Joker went to his office to make the last minute dentils for tomorrow evening. Catwoman and Poison Ivy who are also known as Selina Kyle and Pamela Isley, are Harley Quinn's fellow Gotham City Sirens, the trio of lady villains have on occasion done some crime sprees together.

Cat: So do you know the surprise is yet?

Harley: No but I do it has to do with the diamonds we got from Bruce Wayne last night.

Ivy: That was you two last night wow!

Cat: Wow no wonder Mr. Wayne doesn't remember a thing from last night.

Harley: Truth serum and a pill to make one forget a whole night.

Ivy: So I wonder what the diamond is for anyways?

Cat: Well I guess we shall see tomorrow night, but for now let's soak our feet so we can get our toes done before doing our finger nails.

With that they got into getting themselves pretty for next nights events. Joker had a lot planned for their anniversary this year and he knew Harley would love her gift from him because it was something she wanted for a very long time.


	3. Anniversary Party with Villains

Disclaimer I don't own these characters but in my stories they are mine playthings, I have to give credit to my husband shikatsu, he also writes fanfic and has posted works of his own here on , thank you my love for helping me with the Jokers proposal to Harley Quinn.

….

Chapter Three

It was the night of Joker and Harley's anniversary; things were going great that evening. Joker was pleased with himself on how well the party was going. Harley was having a great time happy that everything was going well as can be. Joker had his hand in his pocket on the little box. It was time for his speech that he had planned on giving tonight before giving Harley her gift.

Joker: Attention all guests I have something I would like to say before giving my Harley Quinn her gift. (Motioning Harley to his side)

Harley: What is it Mister J? (Going to him)

Joker: Well as you all know Harley has been by my side for many years now, we have had many evil jokes, pranks, capers, thick as thieves, and I do think that I deserve to have such evilly lovely lady with me. No but I can't think of my life without her. So Harleen Quinzel well you the Queen of crime take me a lowly Joker to be your King? (Getting on one knee)

Harley: OH MISTER J YES! I will marry you! (Jumping Joker and making them both fall to the Floor)

With that everyone cheered for nobody thought he would ever put a ring on her finger. Joker put the 20k gold banded diamond ring onto Harley's wedding finger and kissed her in front of all their quests. They party went on for a couple more hours than when everyone had left Joker lifted Harley up and carried into his room so she could give him his gift which is what he got a preview of the day before. They lay down on to the bed and Joker took his switch blade out and cut the two thousand dollar dress off of Harley while kisses her deeply. Harley moaned with pleasure because the dress was stolen from a French boutique for this every evening. Joker started rubbing her breasts with his hands. Harley was enjoying this feeling she was getting. Harley jumped on to him with a hard landing. Joker loved it when she did gymnastics during playtime. She then took what was left of the dress off showing Joker the purple and green lingerie that matched the one she wore the day before. Joker was amazed on how wonderful she looked in his trademarked colors. Harley then unzipped his pants and rode him into hell and back. Joker was in unholy bless that night as Harley showed him she was in charge of the bedroom.

…

A Month later Harley was in the boardroom planning her big day. Ivy was pointing out that custom roses for Harley's wedding wouldn't be too hard for Ivy herself to do for the big day.

Ivy: Harley I swear to Mother Nature that I can make roses that can be green and purple, seeing as red and black are easy to make.

Harley: Ok I trust you Ivy, Cat do you think we can find someone to make my wedding dress?

Cat: Yes my assistant Holly is working on getting a French Dress designer from Paris to be next week.

Harley: Oh thank you both for helping me plan. Puddin' has seen so busy planning our honeymoon that he forgot about the Wedding part.

Ivy: Let me guess it's another surprise right/

Harley: No it's more like where can we go to enjoy our unholy bless without somebody trying to kill or arrest us.

Cat: Well for now we are making great progress on wedding planning.

Then Joker comes running into the room in a rush. With a huge smile on his face and started kissing Harley. Then he said he might have found the perfect place for their honeymoon.

Joker: I found the perfect place for our honeymoon Harls. (Proud of himself)

Harley: Ok Puddin' is the idea this time? (This being 100th time he thought he had the right place)

Joker: Well I know that you have always wanted to go to Paris, France, so I booked us a private jet to take us there for two weeks the day after we get married!

Harley: Oh Puddin' I knew you could come up with a place. (Jumping him)

Cat: Well now that is done, now can we get back to the guest list you two horn dogs.

Joker: But you ladies have been planning all day. (Pouts Joker)

Ivy: Cat I think can start back up tomorrow, seeing as how you drugged Harley and me both out of bed at 6am Yesterday morning for this planning binge.

Cat: Oh alright but 7am I will be waking you both up.

With that Ivy and Catwoman left Harley and Joker themselves. Joker was happy to have his Harley's undivided attention for himself. Joker and Harley have been going at it like rabbits since Joker popped the question a month ago. For example every time they sit down to try and plan their next caper they end up playing all over the plans. So needless to say they have been a little preoccupied with one another.


	4. Fun and Rain

Disclaimer I don't own the rights to these characters, but in my stories they are my playthings and sex scenes based on my husband and myself role playing

Chapter Four

On a raining night just around midnight, Joker's henchmen were breaking into a safe at a bank in the ritzy part of town. They were getting a few things to bring back to the Joker tonight. They didn't know what he wanted all this loot for but he needed it now or they would be severely punished.

…

Back at the lair Harley and Joker were impatiently waiting for the henchmen to get back with the party favors for their wedding party. Harley and Joker loved the long engagement but making sure things went well for the big day was hard at times because the Batman has been trying to put a stop to the union. Really you would think he show a little respect for the fact some people would like to make the jump to being husband and wife.

Joker: Harley my sweet I am sorry bats isn't making this easy for us. (Holding her in his lap)

Harley: Puddin' he's just jealous that he doesn't have the guts to ask a woman to be his wife. (Licking his ear)

Joker: Harls your right because nobody can have what we have. (Kissing her right arm)

Harley: Besides it's nice just to stay home and let the henchmen do all the hard work for a change. (Unzipping the front of outfit slowing)

Joker: Oh Yess it is my sweet. (Watching with hunger in his eyes)

Harley: And it's rare when all the henchmen are gone at the same time. (Unzipping his pants to let out his cock)

Joker: Harley, are you saying we can play right here on the couch? (Rubbing her breasts out of the top half of her outfit)

Harley: Yes Puddin' I am, now let's play! (Doing a back flip out of the rest of her outfit and landing on the couch next to him laying on her back)

With that Joker was on top of her and inside her very wet pussy in seconds. They were in the thick of it when the henchmen decided to rudely return at that point and time to interrupt their playtime. The only thing that saved them from being cut to pieces was the fact they got the party favors they had wanted. Then Joker had the henchmen leave and wait outside in the rain for two more hours while Joker and Harley finished their game.

…

Harley was very happy that her Puddin' and her would be tying knot in the next few months. They worked on the guest list several times but always ended up with a bigger number then before to which Catwoman would have to tell them once again the point was to decrease the number of guests not to increase the list. Joker would then point out that they know so many people who would be offended if they weren't invited to the wedding.

Cat: You wrote down person who works at Joke shop on good side of Park ave.

Joker: Well he was very helpful when Harls and I had to stock up jokes.

Harley: Oh Puddin' your so sentimental.

Ivy: Um guys you both really need to cut the list down because the venue can only hold 600 people at full capacity.

Joker: Oh alright only people whose names we know.

Cat: Now as for heroes you two wanted to be on the list.

Harley: Oh um we wanted to tie them up to watch.

Ivy: Well as funny as it would be to see them forced to be there we can't risk them ruining your big day.

Joker: Ok you two win. (Pouting)

Harley: Can we have little cakes with their pictures on it to shoot at?

Cat: I think we could do that, it does sound fun.

Ivy: Ok tomorrow us; girls have another fitting for our dresses.

Harley: Puddin' you and the groomsmen do too here, while us girls do ours at Cat's place.

Joker: Ok my sweet, and are we done now?

Harley: Yes we are you did a great job waiting for us to be done. (Kissing him on the cheek)

With that the planning was done for the moment. Cat and Ivy went home, leaving Harley and Joker with each other. For it's hard to be around them when they are taking clothes' off each other before people even leaving the room.

…

Joker had Harley this time in the boardroom he didn't even wait for Ivy and Catwoman to leave before he started getting Harley out of her clothes. Harley was undressing him as well; they had wanted to be all over one another right then and there. Joker was in the practice makes perfect mindset because he and Harley wanted to start a family as soon as they said their 'I dos' on the big day. That's why they planned on going to Paris for their honeymoon. Joker was getting to the point of no return when yet again a henchman came in and said that Joker had a phone call online 4. Harley hit the henchman with her mullet. Joker answered the call which it turned out it was Dr. Freeze, the Penguin, and Scarecrow wondering who was going to be walking Harley down the aisle and why didn't Joker ask their permission first. Harley said all three could have the honor of walking her down the aisle and Mister J didn't need permission from them.


	5. Bats

Chapter Five

In a high speed chase because the Joker and Harley Quinn just robbed a bank. Which, they had done just for laughs; because hadn't done a caper in a long awhile. Joker had gotten a limousine and painted it purple for the occasion. Harley was in the sunroof of the vehicle with her bazooka trying to keep Batman off their tail while Joker was hanging out the right side of the limousine shooting a sniper ruffle. Once they lost 'Bats'; they then ware able to enjoy the long ride home to the lair.

Joker: Oh Harls that was the best bag of tricks yet! (Drinking out of a water bottle.)

Harley: Yes it was Mister J. (Sitting next to him.)

Joker: Dressing up as a priest and a Catholic Schoolgirl was the best joke yet. (Holding her close to him.)

Harley: So how do I look in this outfit Puddin'? (Posing for him to get a good look)

Joker: Oh Harley my sweet you look like the embodiment of a naughty devil, and how do I look Harls? (Smiling his huge smile)

Harley: Oh Mister J you make my body hot and excited, and I just want to say 'forgive me father for I have sinned', you know like that. (Kissing him)

Joker: Does my Harley Q want to play a game? (Putting his hand under her skirt to find out she wasn't wearing panties)

With that he was on top of her in minutes kissing her hard to the floor of the limousine. Harley unzipped his pants and put his cock inside her already wet pussy. Harley moaned with pleasure to which made Joker thrust into her harder and faster. As he did this he started to unbutton her school uniform shirt so that he could he could get his lips on too her huge breast's for play. Harley was rocking her hips with each thrust into her; she was pleased with this game. Joker was glad to see that her bra was hooked in the front which he unhooked with his teeth. Harley moaned even more as Joker started licking her breasts with his tongue gave her another hard thrust. As the limousine made a sharp turn Harley was then on top of her Puddin' to have her fun with him. She rode him hard with the passion of a she devil. Joker was then moaning himself for he loved when she took charge. Harley took out her knife and cut off the Joker's priest getup so she could bite his chest hard enough to taste blood. Just was the limousine pulled up to the lair they both had cum several times in pleasure.

…

Catwoman, Harley, Ivy were eating lunch by the pool when one of Harley's henchmen ran up saying she had a call. Harley took the phone from him and hit him with her mullet.

Harley: Hello? (Into phone)

Person: We have misplaced some of the decoctions for your wedding Miss Harley, so sorry if there is anything we… (Harley threw phone into pool)

Ivy: What's wrong?

Harley: We have to go to the wedding revue to look for my wedding decoctions that they misplaced!

Cat: Oh Hell no they didn't!

With that they were there in ten minutes and found the decoctions in five minutes. The person who had called was fired for making the mistake of upsetting the bride to be. Then they went shopping to relax.

…

Later that night Joker was helping Harley put all her new things away she had bought mostly bridle lingerie for their wedding night. She was still ranting about the mix-up earlier. Joker was now laying down looking at her with lust in his eyes. Harley was changing into a silk nightie that was red. Then she laid down next to her Puddin'. Joker then started to rub her breasts and she started to moan. Harley kissed him hard. Joker kept rubbing in places he started to get hard. He was just wearing boxers so he put his cock into her very wet pussy. She moaned forgetting about her rant. They fell asleep after three hours of fun.


	6. Wow

Disclaimer I don't own the rights to DC Comics but in my stories they are mine personal playthings. I might be ending this line soon let me know how you went to end!

Chapter 6

It's a week before Harley Quinn and the Joker walk down the aisle for their "Unholy Union", but at the Batcave Selena and Bruce are talking who she is taking to her friend Harleen Quinzel's wedding. Bruce was pouting…..

"Selena, why don't you me to go with you?" Asked Bruce

" Well, because Cat woman the cat burglar can't bring the Hero Batman!" Said Selena

"But I can go as myself, Bruce Wayne!" countered Bruce

"No but you can buy them extravagant wedding gift." Suggested Selena

"Fine I'll stay here waiting for someone to do evil then, but wait that won't….." Selena shuts him up

….

Back at the lair, Joker and Harley are trying to pack for their Honeymoon. Joker thinks _wow I am actually ready to be married_. Harley thinks _oh my god I didn't think he would ever marry me_. Joker then walks into her room to start moving her things into the new master bedroom they just built into this lair for when they come back as husband and wife.

"Harley you ready for me to bring stuff into our room? Asked Joker but stopping mid-step

"Yes, but I think we should think about turning this room into a nursery." Said Harley showing him the test

"I..I…I'm gonna b..b..be a father" said Joker then he kisses Harley

Harley breaks the kiss

"Yes Puddin', we're pregnant."

With that they were too busy having passionate love making to remember what they had planned on doing that day. But the fact that they were already expecting a baby was the best feeling in the world. Hell at this point they didn't care if they ever pulled another caper ever again. But who knows what will happen in the next few months. The Clowned Prince of crime had his Queen and was going to have a family with her as well.

…..

Cat, Ivy, and Harley were getting ready to walk down the aisle to get the rehearsal started because they had things to get done before the real "I do's" the next day. Joker was happy as can be, Harley just wanted to get this done she was so tired. Ivy was not happy with the fact that she was arm in arm with one of the groomsmen. Cat seemed to be thinking of somebody else as well. Then finally the rehearsal was over. Joker, Harley, Cat, Ivy then got into the limo. Cat asked the smiling couple what they wanted to tell them so badly.

"Now what the hell is this all about?" Asked Cat

"Yeah why did you both rush the rehearsal so badly?" added Ivy

"Well Harls and I have something to tell you." Said Joker

"We're gonna be having a….." Harley started

"BABY!" finished Joker

That is when Ivy fainted. Cat was trying to wake her. Then when Ivy came to she said "I am gonna be an Aunt, I'm gonna an Aunt, then hugged Harley. Cat then kissed Joker on the cheek.

"Ok I wasn't expecting that." Said the Joker

"Hey Cat he's mine, but thank you for being happy for us." Said Harely

"The one good thing is that I am gonna be an Aunt!" said Ivy


End file.
